Hi doctorwho, sorry you're struggling so much. I have read all your post, but have poor concentration due to my depression so may not have taken it all in- sorry! I do recognise your lack of motivation as a symptom I have with my depression. Sometimes it takes huge determination to do the simplest thing and it can be the loneliest feeling as you try to make yourself do it. Possibly aiming to do just one important thing in a day, saving the next most urgent for the next day could make the list less daunting and more realistic.
I feel for you and wish I could do more to help. Good luck as you try to move forward in this difficult situation.