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That is a WHOLE lot to endure. As the old saying goes - one thing at a time. Overall, is your son more helpful or draining to your survival? If you cannot take care of you, you cannot take care of him. If he does not learn to take care of himself - he will learn to live the way you have been living.
I hope you have support. I'm sure writing about it and getting it our of your head helps some. You son has to go manage his own life so you can manage yours. Easier said than done - I know. I wish you more better moments than bad moments. Take care!!
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“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany
“Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge
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