The OP is getting advice/opinions. The OP chooses not to respond to any of the questions concerning her meds. Meds and Pdoc are the two most important things for her right now. I agree with the poster who said she can't see this clearly right now while she's in the middle of it. Joshuas Mommy, if you want to get better, please try to talk to your doctor, document all of these things you post here, and take your meds as prescribed. Unfortunately this illness can cause a person to lose everything, and you've already started experiencing that. Take your life back! But in order to do so, you need to give the meds a chance to work, or try something else. The meds can help you get your life back if you let them. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Pdoc and meds. You can do this!