That is sad when a parent is just wrong in doing what they do. A person is only ugly when it comes from deep inside. I have seen very attractive people but as soon as their mouth opens and you get to know them you know they truly are UGLY. She's gone now, you are in control of who you are and how you want to present yourself. Sorry the counseling didn't help, maybe you were not hooked up with the right people. You sound like a very nice person. don't let the past take your future away.