I can't explain the logic. Its hard to put into words. I guess no matter how bad the real feelings are, they're dont feel as bad as the picture memorys, even though the feelings are awful. But somehow we do everything possible to avoid the real feelings, or we try and prepare ourselfs for the real feelings by constantly trying to remember what happened hoping to get there before we actually get there. No matter how bad I have felt as I've felt the real emotions, I'd rather the real pain then the self inflicted pain I used to avoid the real stuff. Its actually worse having memories without the feelings. They grow they distort they terrify us and yes most of them are proberbly true but once felt they become containable. I'm not sure I'm making sense here.

Just talk about your memorys and don't worry about whether they are real or made up, something is there and you will find out eventually and then it will all make sense, once you've got the key to the door you will not have to fumble around in the dark wondering whats there and whats not there that is worse then the actuality, the actuality is ours. We have to own all of ourselfs the good and the bad to be alive and to love who we are.