I often find myself at a shopping mall, just milling about - trying to absorb what I think is daily life and normal. So yes, it can be relaxing at the same time. Unlike you, I don't call anyone though. A ringing phone almost always sets my heart racing!!

It is all so confusing, isn't it?

I am so happy for you that your husband is supportive. That must really help a lot.

Please think about getting further help. And Lena, please know that PC is a wonderful community where you will receive a warm ear and plenty of support. Please do keep posting.

Feel free to PM me anytime!!