Hi all. Ive been with my boyfriend for over two years and have recently started having intimacy issues (sexual and emotional). I believe our issue first started when my self esteem dropped - I have gained a few pounds and am also battling a chronic health condition that causes fatigue etc. My boyfriend has also gained weight, and has not been taking care of himself like he used to. We are used to being very sexually active and cherish this time together as great emotional bonding time. At first, I needed to stop having sex because my health condition was causing me a lot of pain in my pelvic area, which of course left me unable to have sex despite wishing I could. My boyfriend knew that I was in a lot of pain, and even though he said nothing about it he became very emotionally distant and would often pout at night and not even be interested in cuddling me. After about week of my pain we had a fight about how I "wasnt interested" in him and that it was my problem he didnt want to be emotionally close to me. This clearly wasnt the case as I was in pain but really needed his comfort and love. He ended up storming off to sleep on the couch and left me to cry myself to sleep. He apolpgized in the morning, but he has been emotionally distant since. He finally told me days later that he understood that I was in pain and that it was okay.if we couldnt have sex.

At that point he went from pouting that he was not getting sex to acting as if he didnt have a libido at all. A couple days later my pain diminished and I wanted to be intimate, more so for the.emotional connection - but my boyfriend acted uninterested and fell asleep. The next day he told me he was all for it. Fast forward to tonight.. I tried to initiate intimacy like I would normally - deep eye contact, kissing, etc and he simply had no interest. I told him to help get me.going as if he would normally and he acted as if he had no idea that I (or any woman) needs to feel wanted and loved and in the present with their partner. He just laid there.on his back with his eyes closed. I tried to initiate again by kissing him... when I kissed him he didnt even move his lips. I felt like I was.kissing a corpse. Worst of all I felt no emotion from him whatsoever. Sexy, right?

Anyway, this turned into a huge screaming fight. He told me it was all my problem that we couldnt be intimate and flat out refused to believe that he was.contributing to my lack of feelings of intimacy in any way by refusing to act intimate and emotional with me. Everything I had to say he would get angry at and throw back in my face and tell me it was i who was doing it. At one point I was trying to explain to him how i felt and he.just laid there on his back with his eyes closed. This made me panic because ive seen this behavior in ending relationships. I asked him if he did even want to be close to me and he responded with "no I dont, get the f*k out of my (our) room!"

We sort of made up and talked a bit after but nothing feels resolved. I feel less sexy and more ashamed than ever.. i miss our connection so much and all I can.think of is that he is falling out of love with me. I dont understand, i havent changed at all and my sexual needs are the same as theyve always been. The only different thing is my chronic pain and i feel even more alone and ashamed about it. What is this all about and what can i do!?