I just need to vent. I'm so in over my head. There's so many things making me miserable. Fleas! We are infested, and the I'm covered in flea bites all over my legs. The itching is maddening. I use Cortizone 10 cream, which helps, but it gets all over everything. The fleas don't bother my boyfriend.

My boyfriend doesn't want anyone to help us clean up the house. My room is what I mostly want. My OCD is going through hell. I got a storage unit and my boyfriend says we'll move my totes full of books and other possessions to the storage unit "a little at a time." And I think he means only on the weekends. I think this could literally take two months or more, and then there's the cleaning to do and more. Don't get me wrong; he works, sometimes on the weekends, too, but I am going crazy!

I've had my new computer since January, and we need to clean up and make space for the computer. I feel like crap.

Everyday is pretty much the same. Sleep in one position, get up, get ready and get out ASAP. Then go to dinner or a movie, there's usually nothing else to do. I then shop for things needed (groceries and whatnot), maybe stop and sit in the local park for awhile, and head home. Then there's feeding the outdoor cats, going inside with cats and kittens running all around (I love the cats, but my OCD hates them), and I'm pouring sweat, so I'm trying to cool off at this time. Then bedtime, where I do a little Facebooking or reading, and the cycle starts all over again, day after day.

I want to start writing, but I really need my computer to do it, because I have to type it in the correct format, keep track of submissions, other records, and submit electronically.

I really feel we need more people to help. My boyfriend wants to get the yard completely mowed and get rid of all the overgrowth before I call people to help with the cats. I have two cats not seeming very healthy (and I do have someone willing to take one), and waiting for my boyfriend to get things done is frustrating.

I'm worried about my health. My doctor heard a heart murmur and had me get an ultrasound,plus see a cardiologist. I asked my doctor about joining a gym, and he said I had to wait until the cardiologist clears me to do that. I have to see them again and get the results. I'm not supposed to exert myself, but I have to feed the cats, and I get sweaty and weak just using the bathroom.

Ok, I'll stop here, because I know I get into long posts and I just needed to scream for awhile.

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