I can totally relate. Getting blackout drunk was often my answer to life's problems. The next day I felt incredibly anxious and depressed.

It's good your BF is being supportive. What helps me is I try keep in mind how my moods and behaviour affect the people around me, because being BPD we tend to get so caught up in our own stuff that we forget about the impact we have on others. And it's usually a big impact - positive or negative.

Confide in your BF. As for his support. Apologise when you've made mistakes and be grateful if he does look after you. But above all, remember, you have an illness that you didn't ask for, that causes you immense distress. You will make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up if you do. Make reparations and resolve to try harder next time.

I hope you're feeling better today. And to reiterate what JanLeiden said, you are a wonderfully sensitive human being, as all of us BPDs are. Use your powers for good