MikeNessMonster, I am sorry this is happening to you! It definitely sounds like you've gone in to this downward spiral and can't get a handle on how to fix it. I can only imagine how trying this is for you. You seem to indicate you are seeing a physician for your chronic illness, but are you also seeing a psychologist? Is your boyfriend? I would highly suggest seeing if he is open to couples counseling. Sometimes, we don't know how to move forward and so we take it out on the other person. I have found intimacy can be a really big blow to either partner's self-esteem and relationship, as unfortunate as that can be. Relationships are give and take. I totally understand there is no way you can be intimate when you are in such pain. But, losing that affection can really throw a wrench in things. I think counseling for you two might be a last ditch effort to get things on track. It sounds like maybe the romance has gone out of the relationship. Try to get it back! If you want it. If you feel that he has done and said things that are childish (which he has) and that it is not worth it, then you need to address that as well.

But above all, I think seeking professional help for YOURSELF first and then your relationship second is really a great start. There are lots of resources out there, even if you don't have the money or insurance coverage.

Hang in there!