Lack of control makes me anxious. Social situations make me anxious. Big crowds. Lack of knowledge or new situations make me feel anxious. My anxiety stems from feelings of abandonment and worthlessness mainly. I get anxious that if I am not perfect and not successful, I will be abandoned. I worry I will never be able to meet people's expectations of me. And so, I self sabotage a lot so that I don't have to worry about letting anyone down.

As to why? Its hard to say. My anxiety often doesn't make sense. I have self-sabotaged many relationships because I was so sure they were going to leave me. Its almost a paranoia sometimes.