Thanks twirls, I think your suggestions are helping, they've at least given me a new route and new ideas to try.

I went to see a neurologist today, not done any tests yet, but I feel almost certain this will again, just result in a conclusion with no answer, and may not even rule anything out.

Though I have realized something now that gives me hope...

I will add this from my blog on myspace, as it might explain a bit more, possibly...

I'm finding poetry to now be a good outlet. There are many more on my page that explains things even more, if anyone wants to look, and I 've been keeping it very up to date.

Suprisingly, I've never been able to write in this way before... :

-------------------

In light of recent events, of last night and this morning.
I feel I may have found something that was lost over time.

I wont say what it is, as I don't fully understand yet, but it
gives me hope and ideas.

I will say it was a rough night last night, and stressful today,
Yet, I did something that changed the course of an episode,
I managed to keep some strength and control through it all,

somehow...

I'm yet again exhausted, but not before writing this:

The Maze:

I began this labyrinth with many companions,

Yet as I travel deeper,
Fewer and further between,
Are those that share my path,

Such that now I am alone.
Such that now I am desperate.

...

In good grace I hope to find,
That my lonely path may cross,
One taking the same desolate route,

May we converse and coalesce.

...

As many are here,
Along this maze,

Yet hidden in the fog,
We pass concealed.

Near,
We may be,
But cannot be seen,
May we find each other,
May there yet be comfort out of similar plight.

...

Along this long and winding path,
And through our unified efforts,
We may yet still find an exit,
To what we did not want enter,

Of this Maze we have created,
Of this trap seems no escape,
Let this place not be,
The end of our fate.