It sounds like there is so much conflict going on within you. If only 1 therapist left you because of circumstance, it would seem more than reasonable to try to find another one. It also sounds like you could benefit from a trained professional who can help heal from whatever it is that is causing you to suffer. You are fortunate to have a good support system with your family (something too many people do not have). But sometimes we need someone from the outside looking in with lots of good experience to help guide us towards good mental balance. There is no shame in that.