I felt similarly about previous T (when I wasn't hating her guts or crushing on her or scared for my life of her. Gods, all the different feelings for that woman. It was nuts...) It totally had the feeling of tween girl adoring an adult who is so much cooler than your parents. I still feel like I want to be like her when I grow up
I don't think it means anything bad. It's a normal healthy part of growing up. I never idolized celebrities growing up either. And I couldn't deal with the same sex attractions I was feeling. I pretended to myself that I hated any women/girls (and sometimes men too) that I was attracted to