I am being portrayed as a horrible, judgemental trouble maker who causes arguments when actually i refrain from confrontation and am very laid back. My friend has ADD and possible BPD where i will see her repeating something that didn't end up well such as being in a relationship with her ex's best friend... It looks like she is trying to get through that entire group but she gets defensive to the point she will block me, delete me on social networks and have an intense rage which is 'my fault'.

She CANNOT take critisism which is understandable since she has not been medicated for ADD, however she gets ridiculously furious and once she has calmed down and realised that i wasn't rude, judgemental or causing trouble she apologises. Fair enough. But then it happens again and there are times where it obviously isn't my fault i mean how can i be blamed for stressing her out whilst people make jokes about her boyfriend and their relationship?

She goes through periods of this blocking/unblocking nonsense which is frustrating as i like to sort situations out in the moment whereas she runs away from it.... I am obviously to blame for near enough everything unless she can pin it on someone else... Whenever i apologise (cause i'd rather lose an argument than a friend) i get told "you brought it on yourself" which makes my blood boil as i try my HARDEST to NOT argue so i will make light hearted responses to which she continues insulting and lashing out.

I want to be friends with her cause no one is helping her everyone just helps her once shes made a mistake or lost a friend/partner/job/opportunity etc etc etc it seems bizarre that i can mean something to her one minute but next i am told i always start arguments, i am a s*** friend and that i only cause trouble.

I don't want to be horrible as i love her to pieces but everyone has limits and i can only do so much as a friend before i crack. Crack as in give up it wouldn't go as far as a breakdown.

I can be annoying i understand but it is out of my control cause it seems everything i do annoys her although when she hyperfocus' on me and realises i do care that opinion fades. However if someone else talks to her about me just asking how i am or mentions me in a polite way she will absolutely slate me making comments about how she really feels, how i am annoying, how she thinks i am obsessed with her, how i am weird, how i am judgmental, how i don't care about her, how i am embarassing, how i make her look like a bully, how i always play the 'pity me card' (list can go on).

She does with everyone though it's almost as if she has to think of a list of insults for EVERYONE she associates with including her family. (Her mother is a so and so according to her but she definately IS NOT, infact her mother is one of the most politest people i have ever met and is so funny.) But my friend doesn't see everyone in a good light at times and will almost prepare to abandon them before they do it to her.. So if she disconnects with people who annoy her or hurt her then she won't have to face being abandoned by people she cherishes.

It seems bizarre though as she is the reason she gets abandoned (not to be horrible but i fully believe unmedicated ADD and undetected BPD isn't doing her any favours)

Anyone else know someone like this? If so what do you do to make them realise they gotta treat the conditions?

Claire