I do plan on getting back in the dating game, but I'm giving myself until the end of August to get my life and head together so I don't fall into the same trap of being insecure and needy and make the same mistakes I did before. I'm using that date because I have a coupon for match.com that I already paid for that expires August 31. It was $22 for 3 months. I've thought about Eharmony, but they're too expensive. They have deals, but they make you pay the entire amount at once, where match lets you pay each month at a time even if you choose a 3 or 6 month package. I think you have to weed out men no matter what site you're on. I think it's just the positive male attention in general that I miss. Since I never got it from my dad or any other men in my life, I get sucked in too easily when a guy pays attention to me and is supportive and encouraging. I'm like a dry sponge and they're the water.

Yesterday when that guy popped into my head I had to literally say "stop" out loud and tell myself all the reasons I don't even want him as a friend. I think knowing that some of the friends in that group I'm still talking to are friends with him, it makes me feel bad that he wants to be friends with them and not me, but then I need to remind myself why he's not someone I even want to be friends with.

I do have a project I'm working on that I'm trying to use as a way to help me move forward. I'm making some crafts that I want to try and sell on Etsy and some local stores. I think doing that will help me feel like I've accomplished something on my own and help give me confidence. That's another reason I'm waiting a little while longer before I start trying to date or even go meet new friends. I want to have something to talk about that's interesting. I don't have money to travel and I'm still trying to find another job, so I don't really do very much since everything costs money.