Wow unguy that's a lot of stuff to go through. But I still think your life is salvageable. If you feel asexual what makes you think you are gay? Intimacy is hard for a lot of us, but the key is to find a partner in life that understands that. In my experience gay males would not understand that. In fact sex is mostly what it's all about. So I could see where that would be a barrier in that circle. Life is hard for gay men, it really is.
Ever thought of moving to a new area and starting over as the person you want to be? That may be an option. The physical issues could be addressed with medication and PT.
So what you never learned how to throw a ball, go out and throw that ball NOW Things that they didn't allow us to do as kids is unfair, but we are adults now and we can throw a ball, play board games or whatever we want to. Try them you might enjoy it.