I lost hope when I was fifteen. I moved from my country and lost all my relatives. I just had my mom who is an alcoholic and hopped up on tranquilizers in the endless rain. I found out that even when you break and give up you can still go on. I had the decision of carrying on stupid destructive behavior or putting one foot in front of the other and carrying on. Now I am fifty and I have lost everything again. I know it is possible to live with out hope. You just keep doing as much healthy behavior as possible. I reach out to other people who are struggling too. It is surprizing how much warmth comes back to me when I open up. I am also forming real bonds with people. You will be fine, you have taken the first step in sharing that you are lost.