Yes...that is a great point. If I were on the right meds, even if just a few, my symptoms wouldn't be as severe. And, It feels like I'll never find those meds, but if I do, and if my life returns to what it was prior to my break, I will learn to appreciate my meds. Sometimes I think, as you have experienced, I would be better without meds. I lived for 8 years unmedicated before I had my break and had to go back on meds. My symptoms prior to returning to meds (minus postpartum depression) were so mild I didn't notice them.