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AlliKamikaze said:That sounds a lot like me actually. I'm almost finished with high school myself, but some things that I figured out at this point would have helped me so much earlier. Part of my denial with ADD at first was based in my idea that people who "really have ADD" must have much worse focusing problems then me anyway. But after being diagnosed with ADD, I started to really observe myself in situations. I had never realized before how much I really had to focus to pay attention, in volleyball for example, the coach would be talking and I would be drawn in the direction of each distraction (sounds from other team practicing, something falling, ball bouncing etc) and when I looked in the other direction I would habitually have to pull myself back almost violently at times, until I was completely fixated on the coach. But even then, I would be staring at him like a deer in headlights focusing as hard as I could, as I knew what he was saying but couldn't quite feel it sink in. I think I have always had a tendency to overfocus when listening though (possibly because my dad who also has ADD makes me so mad when he doesn't listen, even though he says he is). Yet, I never noticed how much work went into it either. My psychiatrist thinks I learned to be a pretty highly functional person with ADD, and I think that's also why I have a habit of asking a bajillion questions when people give directions (just to make sure I get what they are talking about).

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Sheesh. That is exactly how I feel/experience it, up to the same thing with *my* dad. The feeling that you have to *drag* your attention as if through thick treacle and, after a moment's *not* noticing, it flies off again as if attached to infinity with a rubber band.
I learned how all this worked way before I even had heard about ADD at all on a zen meditation course. You *just* sit and observe your thoughts as a non-intervening outsider. It was/is like a pinball machine on speed, but not having any reference I thought that was how everyone's head felt on the inside.

Peace
Luthien