thank u. that means a lot. i think i am gonna be ok.. i just really wish i could talk to my T. but i understand that i have to wait. meanwhile i can talk to my mom and my friends. im going to my mom's tomorrow. the service might be on friday. i asked off work my next 2 days (weds and sat). i cried on the phone with my manager. i hope my mom is ok like she said she is. she is prob hurting a lot. i will miss my grandma... a lot. i have a lot of things to remind me of her. but it is sad to think back even on the good memories. im so glad i got to see her on sunday and kiss her and tell her i love her. i hope whatever happens after death is good to my grandma. my grandma was religious... i hope its what she expected.