Yeah so I know I'm not an idiot I just made an honest mistake, were all fallible, I was just feeling especially vulnerable yesterday- oh and to be clear, the ilinly thing my bf doesn't know is my buying and smoking weeds and forgetting I picked up a shift and was late and all that mess. I told him when my ex contacted me abd I told him about how I was feeling especially down yesterday morning when I was walking across the bridge and how I emailed my ex again and I filled him in on my emcees life update. I'm really debating what to do about the we'd though, keep it or sell it- and whether or not I shod tell my bf- He likes that I don't do it, he knows about my past drug use and I don't think he would be too keen on me using again- MAYBE he'd understand if it was sparingly- I do still want to be able to donate blood and all- I talked to him about possibly going back on meds- he reminded me about vitamin b and c- I haven't actually taken them in a while so I said I'd take them again first before deciding to go on meds again . . .