Oh...I'm so sorry. The first thing to remember is to take care of yourself during this stressful time. I've spent many years learning how to help and care for those who are facing imminent death. I can say your sister is fortunate to have someone like you who truly wants to help ease her discomfort.

Everyone is different in how they want to cope with the news. Some want to ignore it, some want to deny it but she sounds like she wants to talk about it because of the words she used to inform you about going to a therapist. Most will be angry and "bargaining" with whatever higher power is in her life before she can come to a place of acceptance.

Most people want to know that their lives have mattered. That they have made a difference, they are important and LOVED. They also want to know who will be there for them when they are ill. That they can be made comfortable and not be in pain...that is very important.

In my experience, a key issue is getting a good/compassionate Oncologist who is not afraid of effective pain management and who is open to allowing her to be at home or in a hospice whichever she prefers.

It also sounds like it is still early in her diagnosis (although you say she is frail) and that is good as she will have some time to process her life and spent time with those she cares about. Most people welcome an opportunity to talk about how their feeling about the diagnosis because they are sometimes afraid to trouble others with such a troubling issue.

Just be yourself... remember we will all have to face this situation at some point. Let her know how much she means to you. Ask her what she is most afraid of, let her talk, talk, talk. Be totally open and honest, don't hold back. Remind her of all the wonderful experiences and things she has done in life, people love to hear that and it offers comfort.

When you end a visit or conversation, just say, "I will see you later" no matter how ill she is. Just be sure you are very kind and compassionate to yourself after spending time with her, you need to stay well to be of any help to her.

May you find some peace by knowing you have offered what she needs most, loving care and compassion. I can only hope to have someone as generous in spirit as you are to be with me when it's my time.