((((((Tucker))))))

Like I said, I am pretty new at this boundary setting thing myself. But i guess ideally I have been balancing more my wants and needs against what others may want or need from me. Only my young daughter should have her needs before mine on a regular basis. Everybody else is an adult and I have to consider when I get a request or even when I am ready to volunteer without being asked : is this something I can do without sacrificing my own needs?
For a long while there I thought that if someone wanted something from me, I should do it, because if I asked someone for something, I really, really needed it. It took me a long time to figure out a lot of people will ask for things or impose on you without much thought of what your sacrifice might be. So now I don't assume that everyone really desperately needs whatever they ask of me. I try to step back and figure out what I can realistically do and whether I should do it, based on what on I said above in terms of keeping people from developing self reliance by rescuing them. Believe me, it takes a lot for me not to knee jerk agree to whatever I am asked to do. But I finally started to get better at it as a matter of self survival.

I try to remember that Bill Murray movie line in "what about Bob" Take baby steps. In time we'll be world champion boundary setters.

Take care,

Meta