IME when your brain blocks something from you, it is for good reason, it is meant to protect you from severe psychological damage or possibly even suicide. Your mind will not release those memories until you are ready. There are methods that can be used to try to force memory recovery before your mind is ready, but that can be dangerous and re-traumatize a person, as well as lead to a total mental breakdown. Even when my mind was ready, even just tiny pieces out of the blue would still stop me in my tracks when they came back to me, I would even stop breathing and be frozen in place. Tread cautiously and be gentle with yourself.