Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonSunn
Hey guys I'm wondering if this is the right place to post or where to search for help.
People told me everytime they see me I have a different personality, I had to agree with them and the worst part is I am not bothered with it and I feel it's the natural way. Sometimes I'm plain tired or strung out and can't perform 'myself'. I don't have a self, my own life or personality, I can't pin down in words who I am and what I do. Often I respond in ridicule, or take a roll of a famous person, or imaginary fantasy person. I like playing like that, I think everybody should once we're done with what 'needs' to be done (work, school) and I can't imagine a better thing to do; I don't feel there's anything that needs to be talked about or is better to be talked about when in reality there's simply too much.
I've had some development issues and I'm not sure what my life was supposed to be, now that I'm 'young adult'. I feel if I picked the most 'casual' personality and used it all the time, I'd still be role-playing, I feel like every person's personality is fake. I am becoming a complete introvert, I rather keep in what could possibly shock people around me. I am estranging myself from common shared reality and it goes exponentially, the weirder I am the less opportunity for normalcy I get
I have some hallucinations, so I post under sz forum, but I think this has to do with disassociating myself.
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maybe this will help...if you google the words self psychological definition you will find a self is the sum of a persons experiences, memories, emotions, consciousness and unconsciousnes. how does that translate to humans well without a self human beings would be just a shell with no reactions, no memories, no movements, no ability to recognize things like role playing, whether they feel small or adult like....
my point is in your post you gave evidence that you do have a self (it may not be the way you want it to be but you do have a self.
examples of a self I find in your post...
you agree when someone says your personality is different every time (since the psychological definition of a self includes memories..if you didnt have a self you would not have the ability to remember how you are with each person and recognize you are different each time with other people ) by the way you can relax on this because human beings are naturally different given what situations they are in. its an instinctual quality that makes us human (being able to think, adapt and be how ever the situation requires/or we need\want to show those around us. a natural survival skill from caveman days you might say when cavemen had to think and adapt to those around them and their environment) it is normal for someone to have one tpye of personality ie serious during and with work, and playful/carefree\happy during spending time with a friends or even showing one way of being one time with a friend and different another time with friends. as human beings our moods do not stay the same every second of the day therefore of course we are going to naturally have different personalities when we are doing things.
dissociative personalities are a very special kind. one of the diagnostics of having dissociative personalities is that they are not because of imaginary friends or fantasy play. your post says you cant "perform" myself so you role play other famous people. here in america that would tell a treatment provider you do not have DID or OSDD (the dissociative problems of having dissociative type alternate personalities )
mind you we can not diagnose you, only a treatment provider off line and in your location can do that.
my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact a treatment provider. they can help you understand what a self is and help you to redefine your's so that you can be a happier person not needing to put on acts\perform\role play\fantasy play (which ever wording your location uses)