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<font color="green">I am very attached to my therapist, and we have talked about it cos fear of rejection and abandonment are a huge part of my problems. One thing she has said several times is that she is a part of me now and always will be. She is right cos I hear her voice her words and ideals when I need them.
Once as we were working deeply with EMDR on my pain at having my own mother abuse me and seem to not really want me, she said something that startled me out of where I was…… she said that they had missed the treasure that was me. I stared at her in shock and some how found myself saying, 'Do you think I am a treasure?' I fully expected her to put me off, or say something like; we are all treasures… But she said, ‘Yes, you are a treasure,’ with her warm smile. That sunk deep down into my heart, when I feel alone I can take out that memory and wrap it around my heart like a warm blanket.
Our relationship has gone a long way towards healing the hurts of the past; I have never felt so vulnerable or so open. Sometimes it frightens me but sometimes I can revel in it. I don’t know what graduating from therapy would look like but for now the attachment, oh heck the love is strong and she likes me too and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Hmm, funny thing – just talking about this is stressful and I feel a bit panicky. I suppose I still struggle with real trust, I trust her, but my history says I can’t truly trust anyone. Sigh…
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dalila
Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-Erma Bombeck
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