To Mars and KTP, I am not sure that by recognizing that our female parents hurt us that we should feel guilty. Yes, I am sure many if not all had their reasons but the key for me was to begin to see that it wasn't about me or anything I did, it was about her. It wasn't that the protective, somewhat violent self let me be heard and seen therefore I was hurt, it was because of an evil ill woman that I was hurt. It was not because I was bad. No it does not mean we have to hate these people. We don't have to carry any additional guilt. what it means is to knowing our hearts that we were beautiful perfect babies who deserved protection. Perfect because we were new to this world and an empty slate. Okay, so maybe we had physical defects etc but we were all still perfect and deserved to have that female parent nurture and protect us. The reasons that she didn't or couldn't are HER problem.