I am so appreciative for the replies I've received on this thread. Thank you Angelique67, couldyyn808, yoda, divine966, iwonderaboutstuff.

For the first time since my sister's disclosure of her diagnosis, when I read on this thread 'I am sorry that you are going through this', I realized how frightened I am. For the first time I allowed myself to feel how I'm feeling deep inside. I've been feeling angry about my sister's cancer - very angry! But I hadn't realized that beneath that anger is a tremendous lot of fear and emotional pain.

Thank you for reminding me to take care of myself, for reminding me that I not only have permission to do so, but that in order to be there for my sisters I MUST take care of myself. I also have two children and, although they are grown, I am still their role model. How I handle my precious sister's illness and death, every step of the way, I am teaching my kids how to handle illness and death.

Each one of you have excellent suggestions on how to communicate with my sis at this time in our lives. What to do, what not to do. I love the idea of making a card or cards. My sister would really appreciate something I've created.

iwonderaboutstuff, you're spot on on the 'reality' concept. In this particular case, with regard to my sister, being real is essential. She hates phony, truly appreciates people who look life in the face. She's a very private person, not the type to go online with her illness or attention-seek - almost to a fault. I kind of wish she would reach out more than she tends to. But that's how she copes best...frank reality.

Again, I want to express profound gratitude for all of your input.
-PR