Hello all,
This is my first post here, although I have begun it and deleted it a number of times.

Ever since I graduated from my grad program (10+ mo), I have been unemployed. Totally unemployed. I managed to fill some of the time with independent projects and volunteering, but recently the enormity of the situation has really dragged me down. Did I make the biggest mistake of my life by switching fields? Will I have to switch again? When will all of this pain/stress end? A few weeks ago I could do nothing but worry and spend enormous amounts of time envisioning a very bleak future in which I never work again, move back in with the folks until they can no longer support me, and then wander alone until I finally perish.
I switched fields, and it seems like all the positions offered in my new field are advertized for those with a lesser degree, so when I have an interview that I think goes well and I don't hear back, I don't know if just my perception is off or if it is something unrelated. As rime goes on and nothing pans out, I wonder when/where the next interview will come from.
I've expanded my search to outside of my new field, and I have a few interviews coming up. For a while I was doing much better; I had regained a firm grip on the belief that I am a smart, capable human being who would be an attractive candidate to anyone. Thanks to therapy, when I did have negative moments I was able to reason to myself why I felt that way and deal with the negative thoughts relatively in the moment. I felt hopeful for the first time in months. And then suddenly, as the interviews begin to loom, I am sinking again.
I am back to doubting myself, thinking that these interviews, since out of my field, will be of a different format and that I am too slow on the learning curve to effectively promote myself. I don't (can't?) even try to fight against the feelings/thoughts. I just wonder, will the day of the interview be a good day or a bad day?

So it's a low time for me. I have been reading some of your stories on the board and they have been a comfort and reason to take comfort in some of my blessings. I have been journaling to relieve some of the stress that I feel, but sometimes it helps to say it to another person, even if that other person is a computer screen.

Needing hugs....