I was hospitalized for a week in February for severe depression and since have been doing really well. I've had some ups and downs but have really leveled out mood-wise recently. I'm back at work and it's going just fine, I'm hanging out with my friends and spending time with my family. Things are good. I was having difficulty quitting my self-harming habit - it's been with my for half my life (literally) so it's hard to give up even in the good times. My psychiatrist prescribed a med called Naltrexone which is actually used for people with alcohol abuse/opiate abuse problems. It blocks the dopamine receptors that provide the "good feelings" one gets from drinking or abusing opiates. It's also had some success when used to treat addictive behaviors like self-harming by blocking those same good feeling or feeling of relief/release. I've been taking it for a little more than two months. It takes care of most of my cravings to self-harm and the one time I did cut myself I got nothing out of it. No relief, no release, nothing. I stopped taking it last night and I didn't take it again this morning. I feel like I can't breathe. Like I might burst. I need a release and nothing is working. So if I stop the Naltrexone I'll be able to get the relief from cutting again. I know it's wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But I can't breathe. This was my outlet for 16 years. I need it back.