(((Shakes)))

I cannot repress the memories, because in doing that i'm blocking them, and that is only going to put me back in that whole. I can't do that anymore, I need to let them come and then deal with them and ending them instead of shaking it back into my mind and trying to forget. When we do that we are only making it worse for us, because the memories will keep coming back, I'm tired of blocking, i'm not going to do that anymore, no matter how bad they get. I want my control back, and I have a choice to do that so i'm damn well going to try.

I've come a long way in recovering from all this, i'm not going to allow myself to be stuck there again.

Now forgivness is a different matter all together, my psychiarist brought it up. Don't think I can do that though.