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pinksoil said:
He probably thinks I'm out of my mind now.
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Probably
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I also tend to have mini-explosions on my own when I get angered about something...
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Sounds like me, especially in the past. But not often explosive now. This morning I realized that I was somewhat angry with my therapist, after my session yesterday. I thought he was underestimating the threats I perceive in everyday life (while I overestimate them). That is, I am thinking that he does not see, and does not
want to see how some people may want to dominate me. And feeling that maybe he didn't want to see what I see made me angry -- and frightened that maybe he wouldn't be on my side when I needed him. (That sort of thing has in reality happened to me in previous therapy.)
But when I can understand what anger I am feeling, and reason out
why, I realize I
might be wrong about what he is really doing, and I can also keep my perceptions and increasing understanding
within myself, rather than having to go running to him immediately to have him fix my panic. We can talk about it at our next session!
You complain about your medications not working. I hesitate to say this, because it seems very politically incorrect these days, but -- have you ever thought that maybe that is telling you something?
Maybe they
don't work.