Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynical4096
I agree that Clair2015's sentiments are reasonably noble, if not somewhat misguided due to the fact she really has to sit back and wait for her friend to potentially come to her own realizations.
However Clair you level of preoccupation with the topic of your friend and her problems does seem somewhat over the top, and people here notice and wonder why. I mean it wouldn't shock me if you told me that 24/7 you do nothing else but think about her, I am not saying that is the case, but I think focusing all your emotions on her outcome is meeting some need that you have. Something strong is pushing or drawing you to her.
I think you need to examine why, and moderate your level of interest in the situation, because your level of interest in this person may potentially cause you to lose the person from your life, along with your ability to help her, if she does not welcome your level of attention.
I am certainly not judging you, and only know what I have read. You sound like a very admirable person with good values, but I am not sure you truly have resolved all your issues yet, this is only my opinion on an internet forum- do not take it too personally.
Best wishes.
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I do indeed thank you for the reply
the reason i joined this forum is simply as a last resort to save our shambles of a friendship. As you say i gotta wait for her to realise but life is too short to be doing this and i got a lot of drama as a result of it.
I understand it appears over the top i am very passionate about the topic as i know people with the condition. I'd often think of why she is like that and what i can do to help her. This hasn't worked. As i always say it's easier to point the finger than to look in the mirror. So she will learn the hard way. I do care as i have seen first hand how she gets treated and is isolated. Though i have an anxiety disorder i still manage to keep my life intact.
To be really honest i latch on to friends easier than boyfriends, i know you can get hurt easily in relationships compared to friendships which i hope to have solid ones for the rest of my life. She understood me as she has been hurt, vulnerable, pestered etc.
She was one of the best friends i had ever had, she made me the person i am today and i am lost without her. Well i think i am... Even though she creates so much drama the rest of my friends all think i am stupid for giving her so many chances. I was convinced being friends with her was the best thing that ever happened to me..... Now i realise she was the worst.
I understand i basically laid it on the line for her telling her that her relationship was costing her friends, job, college, etc. i am so done with trying to be friends with her i tried to not give up cause people who have ADD/HD a hard time keeping friends so it kinda motivated me to try and not be like the others.
Not at all i really appreciate your opinion and imput it gives me a chance to improve myself
Claire