Quote:
Originally Posted by ensconce
I am bipolar but there is something peculiar about me that I was wondering if some of you could give me some information about. Since I was pretty young I have had approximately 4 different people in my head that I would become depending on the situation. I didn't really notice very well until I was older. The transformation has always been more subtle in public with me suppressing certain features of these people as much as I can. Sometimes some of them seem to go away for a while, if I am especially distracted or if I dont encounter situations where they are needed but usually one in particular creeps back in, other times he begins to take control especially when I hear or see certain things, he loves fear it seems to make him thrive. There are also times when he takes over and I have to fight for control again. I was abused physically and emotionally until around the age of 18 or 19 I cant remember most of my childhood either because certain worse things happened, maybe that caused it.
My main questions are:
- whether anyone has alters that fight for control of you
- whether anyone alters that lay dormant until certain situations arise to the point to where you think they may be gone permanently.
- Would it be possible for the paranoia from a bipolar episode to trigger the emergence of an alter to cope with the perceived threat.
- Do you notice the switch each time? or do they happen on their own sometimes without you noticing.
If anyone can help me with anything I would really appreciate it. Thanks for reading all of this  |
Hi ensconce, your story sounds so like mine. I too was traumatically abused for 18 or so years.
~Alters do fight for control. Our big rivalry is Susie versus Steve. They think one or the other is better suited to run the show. Actually Steve fights for control which in turns pisses Susie off, so they tussle.
~I don't think alters disappear permanently, if not needed they seem to go dormant. They might not come out for years until they're needed. Some alters are created to hold trauma memories and gets buried- in other words, you got more than you are aware of. I've got hundreds, but 25 named ones that present through out the day. An alter has a job to do. A coping skill, function like friending, talking, working, etc. Susie is the the homebody and she shows feelings of empathy and fondness because all the males are drones. The carpenter goes to work. Sarah is the cook. Steven is the friendly male liaison, Hoolio is male sex god, Barbie is the female love goddess, etc.
~I'm bipolar affected with ultra rapid cycles and I've always thought some mood changes triggered switches, like if I'm in a chirpy happy mood and then I have an instant pole reverse, another comes out that can handle the depressed mood.
~When I wasn't aware of alters switching, the only thing I could tell was that I always felt like a different person, then I became the next one up, if that makes sense. We're also to switch on request if one thinks anther can do a better job, or for the heck of it. Being co-conscience, I'm able to talk, discuss, vote with the others and come across as a singleton.
I hope this helps some.
