Hi Pink, I'm so sorry you have so much going on at the moment and life is so hard. Please listen to the other posts, it is possible for things to get better. Remember you are a human being and therefore as good and valuable as anyone else. Anyone who tells you different is, in my opinion wrong. So hang on to life as best as you can. Time WILL pass and you will be able to leave home and make your own life. I really, truly hope you can.

Ps, your english is excellent!