Hi, it's hard being in the middle but it doesn't make you a bad or inadequate person. Wait and see your results, RenouncedTroglodyte is talking sense. If you can put some of your worries in that box marked 'forget about me until you have more information and can do something' it will help. Not easy, I know! I hope you can confide in your Mom and sister as well as listening to them. You sound like a lovely caring person. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.