If I can be perfectly honest, I felt like I was reading something I wrote when I read your post, bittersweetsugar. I completely understand where you are coming from AND I have some suggestions for you!

I am now working on my own self-esteem because like you, I really listen to my inner critic. One thing that has helped me is my automatic thoughts worksheet. I pick an event that is so upsetting that I feel my reality is off-base (meaning my thoughts are picking on me), and write it down. Then I write down how it made me feel, plus how much on a scale of 1 - 10.

Now the part that helps me the most is writing down those automatic thoughts like "I don't like myself," or "All I do is make mistakes" THEN writing down a more "logical" response to those thoughts like "Well I love that I am open minded" and "Mistakes are not failures, they are lessons." I got this from the Self-Esteem workbook on Amazon.... Maybe you should check it out? I really like it

No matter what your inner critic says, remember you are amazing I hope you see that