I saw my therapist on Wednesday and have been in bad shape ever since. Yesterday was very bad. Nothing we talked about in session really seemed to upset me at the time but I started going downhill right after I left. I have always been very self aware. I know what's upsetting me and where it's coming from, my problem was how to manage it. But this is different, whatever it is it's coming from my subconscious because I have no idea why I'm feeling so horrible. I felt so bad last night that I felt like I had been drugged. Every time I stood up I was dizzy and confused. I finally fell asleep (more like passed out) all on my own, no sleep meds. That was a first in a decade! I've never been able to go to sleep without sleep meds for at least the last 12 years. Today I woke up feeling a bit better then the staying on the brink of a crying jag lasted all day and is still with me. I'm thinking of setting my alarm for a controlled cryfest and seeing if that will help. I'm just so horribly sad but the not knowing why is making me angry. I'm thinking of rescheduling next weeks therapy appt. There's something very different and something very wrong here.