I am the same , I am just hating life. I saw my T yesterday and he is worried of course. He again stressed that I made a deal with him 3 years ago that if I planned to off myself I have to wait until I talk to him.. I hope that I am able to do so , I have in the past so I hope that I would reach out to him..

I just cant handle this much longer.. Its a white hot blinding pain.

Sorry for my ranting and raving