I'm doing a little better today. Some crying, but no sobbing. I took a shower. And I got out of the house and had dinner with my family. Otherwise, I've just been sleeping and eating whatever the hell I feel like. I'm definitely depressed. I feel tension all over my body. I imagine it like a deer freezing before it gets hit. But I have been hit. Idk. Just not feeling well.

New T just gave me permission to email her one email, however long I want it to be. She said she will read it, but she won't respond to it. I think it's fair. I use writing as a coping skill, but I'm not allowed to do it often because I obsess over it. So I'm happy she's allowing me a way to purge this pain.