... I have to wait a few months. My doctor referred me to a psychologist, but I won't get an appointment in maybe 2-5 months. My self-harm has been spiraling lately, to the point where it literally hurts others too. Not just makes them feel bad, but I trigger people on purpose to feel less alone. I dislike doing it, and try avoiding it, but it happens...

I also have other problems that are just getting worse every day. For the first time in ages I actually do want help, and I asked for help. I knew I would have to wait, everybody told me that before I asked for help, but I thougt it would be okay... it's not. Things are going downhill and very fast. I am not in danger, if so I would call someone, but I feel like if things go on like this much longer, it might go very wrong.

I wonder if there is anything I can do to speed up the process, except hurting myself so bad they'll be much more worried? Because right now, that feels like the only option. I won't do anything tonight or tomorrow, but what about next month? I really need help and I feel so stupid for not asking earlier...