I think it is natural to want to give someone else pleasure. But, if there is no desire to have an orgasm to begin with, then I'm not sure if anything can be done

I suspect a combination of parental influence and lack of desire in my wife's case.

Edit: she has even verbalized that she thought "women don't do that" when it came to touching herself and wanting orgasms in the past. We've talked about it, and I think she's coming around. We bought a vibrator, and she claims to have had an orgasm with it, but I'm skeptical. That's cool if she did, but the way she talks (or doesn't talk) about it makes me wonder if she even knows what the experience is like.

I do understand that some women find the lack of control to be disturbing, and I wonder if that is an issue for her, as well. She does like to feel like she is in control.