I think on some level the reason I didn't call t last week when I was such a mess is because I didn't want her to know, didn't want her to be disappointed in me, didn't want her to feel like she failed or something that I had been doing so well but then that. I came to my senses as far as that and told her all about it when we talked earlier this week. I hadn't been sure I was going to tell her, but then as soon as we started talking, I couldn't not. She has that effect on me.