A couple of things come to mind. (1) I am remembering reading about a couple who both worked but the wife did all the housework. She resented that it was all left to her to do. They tried hiring a maid, but she felt funny about paying the maid to do something that she was capable of doing herself (even though they could afford it). Their solution was that the wife would do the cleaning, but instead of paying a maid she got what they would have paid the maid and it went for fun things for her that she might not have done or gotten otherwise, but now it was guilt free. (2) Either of you could just as easily do the cleaning. You are the one that you have control over. It might not be fair, but if you do it then it will be done. Worrying about whether or not it is fair is counterproductive. I know what you're saying and I've felt like that too - when your work place is your home you are always at work and you never get time off. One thing that has been helping me to get my attitude adjusted and be able to deal with the housework is Flylady.net.
I hope that this helps.