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Copper, I feel your pain, and I live it out frequently as well. My mother is probably undiagnosed BPD or NP. My dad is probably undiagnosed NP.
Regardless, my mom hates it when I'm in a support system and getting more and more leveled out and confident. She, also, does what she can to trigger me.
She is alternatingly condescending and then nice. It is maddening. I hear you.
To my advantage, she's chronically ill now, and doesn't seem to have the energy, or wits about her, to inflict the damage she has in years past.
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Dx: MDD, BPD, Complex PTSD, Moderate Bi-Polar I, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Kidney Failure Stage 3
History of Migraines
Spinal Fusion at Cervical 5-7
Rx: Currently - Latuda 80 mg, bupropion 300 mg, hydroxyzine 50 mg, lisinopril 20 mg, Cymbalta 90 mg, counseling.
Past - Imitrex, Fiorcet, Ergostat, Zoloft, Lamotrigine, Oxcarbazepine, Abilify, Paxil, Celexa, Pamelor, Soma, Norco, Flexeril, Diclofenac, mirtazapine, trazodone, lithium, DBT group & individual therapy.
Ain't that the truth?!? 
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