You realize that they changed the diagnosis criteria 2 years ago? They tightened the definition, and something like a third of people who had a diagnosis no longer qualify, so there's a pretty good chance you don't have it by the current guidelines. Same with Borderline - it could be that it took 10 years for the diagnosis because you didn't qualify under the old DSM, but now you do.

Why not try to live thinking you don't have a PD at all, if they can't tell you which one you have? Just assume you have poor coping skills, so learn new ones, and bad habits for dealing with people, again, learn new ones.

You say you don't like labels, but you're labeling yourself. Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it every time you think, "oh, it's okay that I act this way because of my PD."

It takes time and effort and courage to change. If you don't have a diagnosis, don't decide you have one just because it's easier to continue to act the way you have rather than putting in the work to learn a better way.