It sounds as if you've put blinders on for this guy for some reason....maybe ask yourself 'what is so great about him' that even though he is totally shutting out your kids, you stayed with him this long. Like someone mentioned above, you are a PACKAGE DEAL. He knew that at the beginning and personally, I would be REALLY pissed if anyone told me we couldn't live together until my kid was gone. I'd say SEE YA. It may also be that you've placed all your feelings of 'security' in him, even though he's actually NOT giving you any security at all. Your best bet is to stay away.. I KNOW how bad it hurts to not have them call you saying they'll change,etc. It really sucks. I've been waiting for my ex to grow up and choose to be a father to our daughter and a future husband to me over living the single life and partying...he's 31 and still can't make the commitment...and it's HIS OWN DAUGHTER. It makes me sad, mad, depressed, resentful, hurt, you name it. I just keep telling myself I've made it this far without him (6 years), and hopefully I WILL meet someone else someday soon. I'm tired of being alone, but I'm NOT willing to jump right back into anything w/ him, even if he WAS willing.
Men are a different breed. It's really hard to understand the way they think sometimes. But I have learned that if you LET them get away with disrespecting you and you still hang around in spite of it, they'll KEEP disrespecting you until you respect yourself and let him KNOW that you are MAD at the way he's treated you and you CAN get on without him. Believe me, there are PLENTY of good guys out there (somewhere!) that will love you AND your kids!
Just try to find happiness with yourself and your kids first, no one else can control your happiness but YOU.
Don't give anyone the power to make you miserable. You DESERVE to be loved and accepted along with your kids, instead of the 'conditions' put on you by your ex. That is just mean and self-centered on his part. He sounds really immature (esp. if he has to live right by his parents still!)
Run as fast as you can and don't look back!