I am really sorry to hear about the way your family has treated you. My mother is also a narcissist, and incapable of love. She neglected her children, and lost us as a result. And my father kept me at a far distance, refusing to get involved and showed his love with money. I know what it's like to wish you could pick your family.

Some advice for your OCD: I have been trying hypnotherapy. I decided to go a different route after much failure with first a CBT psychologist and then a psychotherapist who just made me relive my trauma over and over again, and provided no tools for me. In hypnotherapy, you not only get the obvious coaching to end these debilitating behaviors, but you also gain access to your subconscious mind, which you can use as a tool to escape to in times of stress. I have been doing this for a month now, and it has helped. I'll go a couple of days without rituals, so it is working. The obsessions do creep back, however, sometimes stronger than before, and you may relapse and give into your rituals, but this is part of the healing process. We are not going to be OCD-free immediately. It takes time. I would really suggest this form of treatment. I am against dr