Yeah I completely fit the stereotype as far as Borderline PD people attracting and being attracted to NPD and AsPD people. I was always in the midst of some weirdly romanticized warfare. I was also very insecure and paranoid deep down, so my 'friends' tended to be extremely dominant and manipulative types. Overcoming the severity of my BPD traits definitely had to include cleaning house in my social life, eventually. My then-friends and then-lover were bringing out the worst in me, and I had to take responsibility and start avoiding triggers, quit playing the games. Takes two to tango and all that jazz.

So I just imagine that if someone is very anxious and avoidant, then they might also need to overhaul some of their social circle and start fresh, when they begin to make decent progress.